Becoming PatientMan II - Still En-Route, Post-D

[Spartan]

Your sister has some good advice and I really hope you can figure out a way to make that work for you.

I understand being super busy (maybe not as much as you have going on ) and old friends being busy with their own lives but I still think it's important to do something new. Do something where you'll meet new people.

The following Saturday, I'm taking all the D's to my parents out of state and dropping them off for a week. I'm not sure if I'll see XW during this week - I haven't given it any thought and we haven't discussed it.

Why would you need to see her? Any free time that week should be all about YOU since kids are gone.

I think I'm afraid to "officially" set boundaries because it will solidify that things will never be the same between us. Right now she is reaching out to me, even though she says she wants independence, and yes, I like that. But no, this isn't sustainable.

Sigh...things will NEVER be the same between the two of you no matter how much you want them to be. You are different, she is different, this process and the steps to get here have changed you guys for ever. Do you really even want them to be? You guys ended up here for various reasons.

I understand how bad you want to go back to "normal" with a good M and happy family because I've felt it. Fact is that right now that's not where you (or many of us) are and I feel the stress of you spinning trying to hold on to that dream. What would happen if rather then staying scared and stuck you started getting excited about your new life. Take it slow (I went a little overboard for a couple weeks with the excitement). It doesn't mean it will always be this way and it doesn't make the pain completely go away but maybe you'll start feeling like you're in control of your life and not waiting for something or someone...

But I need to do what's right, not make decisions based upon unrealistic possibilities that may be detrimental and hurtful.

Your words...

SHE DIVORCED ME! WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT?!?!?

Because it $ucks. Just ask yourself are you making it more difficult on yourself then it needs to be. I just don't want you standing in your own way...