had to run away- peeking eyes - just read your own post. do what you feel is rite for you in today's sitch . with today's "heart" - today's "guts" , etc.
it is wonderful i'm sure tomake boundaries - it's all great or terrible- BUT IT'S GOT TO BE YOUR DECISION what you do and how you do it and the time you do it in.
i'm world's biggest chicken. i remind myself daily when i crucify myself daily for not just turning my back and walking away from it all. then i come down to reality and tell myself man up- bide my time- set myself up more comfortably and more ably to take care of my own needs it if all blows to hell- and somehow i manage to bite my tongue and hang on a bit more.
I'M NOT SAYING WHAT YOU GOTTA DO- i'm just sayin what my approach is. i know all advice we get is well-meaning. i alwo know that no one else in the universe is in your heart or mind.
don't despait- decide you're deciding. it's just that- you are guy in control of dawn and you knwo her best. just sit quietly and look into your littl ehart- and then listen to it and your gut.
maybe rite in world eyes - maybe wrong- it only has to be DAWN'S OWN TIME 7 FEELINGS YOU CONSIDER. O OKAY
I'M NOT EXPERTT AND gOD KNOWS I SPIN and twirl and agonize daily-
BUTTTTT - I'M FAIRLY CERTAIN you need only answer to yourself.
end of guest lecture by your bud in misery here.
the whole "i'm tired of this crap life" thing is on my mnind alot too- I JUST KEEP TELLING MYSELF if i go out and gal and keep moving forward and doing stuff ( even smiling when i don't feel like it because studies show you get some happiness feelings going inside you by merely acting like you're happy( go figure) -
anyway- the being tired. i feel it too - i get "at the end" too, but think of that stupid saying about tying a knot and hanging on. i do that because i also remind myself that WE CANNOT MAKE NEW love come by willing it- we can't make a peaceful heart come by willing it - snapping our fingers or quickly. it's a waiting game- we all have to do it-
await end of their journey- await end of our journey- waid and then wait some more.
what i say to me is that if love is going to appear- there is no rule that it will appear only after i ditch h & this life, there's no guarantee it will come at all- there's no quarantee about peace of mind - or when - IT CAN COME as easily while i'm attached and IN THIS SITCH as it can ten years after i'm out of it-
inside me i think it's all alot of fate, luck, etc.
it will all happen or come in it's own ghood time- you and i can't rush it- and very likely- our actions or inactions won't really (in the long run - in a lifetime) matter allll that much.
boy- is that me letting me off the hook or what? but i really just knida believe it. we're sooo small in the whols schmeme of things in the universe. we feel so important - our decidions SEEEEM so important- BUT REALLY____ WE'RE such little fragile things- do we really matter all that much? do our actions???
stay alive first- try for a clear conscience & kindness to others & self- don't hurt anyone or self- have pati4ence if possible nad know it all (the universe & me and you) unfolds as it probably should.
i'm ou5ta here - this sneaking around is sooo dopey- but i do like my privacy while im pontificating here. hoope you're okay\\
hang on- you've gone this far with such guts - we all have waaay more than we think. i thought i'd drop dead - am amazed daily i didn't from sheer pain & grief- ta da.....
cluck cluck- may be chickinie and twirling around, but still standing & still clucking and so on....
xxoo (((( )))00 make whatever boundaries or ultimatums you want to - as long as it's dawn doing it for dawn. you'll suck up the repurcussions all on your own - so YOU make the call all on your own
