It sounds that while your W was contemplating the M, she had not yet come to a conclusion as to WHEN she might BD. Also, many BDs also include language that denies any indecision. Rather, it's "I am done", even though in their mind they might still be undecided.
Of course at this point it's probably moot whether your action directly contributed to the BD timing. Certainly it was bound to come, yet she may have thought longer on it if she didn't feel a need to BD at that specific time, what ever her reason to do so was.
Anyhow, it sounds like you did get some valuable information out of her notes. Something that you have been able to consider and work on. Do you know if anything appears to have changed for her, from that past "laundry list"?
Regarding the "chemicals", yes I was talking about the exercise possibly taking time for your self generated chemicals to catch up. Certainly you'd get some immediate, positive affect, although things that get you down will obviously have negative affect. If you prefer not to go on ADs, maybe find a herbalist in your area that comes with some good recommendations. Your diet and possible herbal supplements, rather than pharmaceuticals, might be able to help you out. Just be sure the herbalist is aware of any medication you ARE on. It can make a difference in what might be helpful.
I'm not necessarily a huge proponent of it either, although it is (subjectively) known to be helpful, if you seek out a Reiki practitioner or Acupuncturist.
Regarding being open and vulnerable with people, certainly you would want to be careful with strangers, although anyone is great to have practice with, within a level of safety that you would need to determine, for yourself. Do keep working on that, it is not to change who you are, although it will serve you well.
Because of your fear of being vulnerable, it might be "safe" for you to be empathetic with people who are not close friends, as you would not be otherwise emotionally invested in them. See if you can continue to work on that in your close relationships.
As far as making positive comments to your W each day, it is not necessarily contrary to detaching. Detaching really is about not being emotionally attached to things others say or do and also about not having expectations. So that said, if you can make positive comments to your W without expectations that she will respond positively to them and also without expecting that she will reciprocate and finally that if she speaks or acts negatively to those positive comments, then certainly do so. If you do it consistently and find it consistently to make her upset, then stop doing it.
Truth is, you are likely (unconsciously) hoping that it will have positive results. That is OK. If you aren't reacting negatively to lack of positive feedback from her on your comments, then your unconscious expectations are likely in check and healthy.
On goals, if you find it difficult to move towards your current goals, then break them down into smaller pieces until you find they are a challenge, yet you still work towards them.
