KD, Linda, and T - Thank you for your thoughts and encouragement.

Linda - My W isn't being mean outright, just doing things in a way that feels more like before (focusing less on us, more distractions/walls, less physical or emotional connections). Nothing dramatic, but as the saying goes, "just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean someone isn't trying to kill me." I have learned to trust my gut, I ignored my gut for several months prior to bd, and my guy is telling me something is off.

Also, Linda, yes, our MC was trained by MWD and Gottman, and has talked about MLC and WAW. He is super-dialed in on it.

T and KD - Your thoughts on stages and withdrawal are good ones and T, I LOVE the metaphor!

I think my W might be going through "I am not going to leave and I am going to try to be content with things being pretty good" mixed with a bit of "MC fatigue/let's pretend things are ok". This is mind-reading, but she has made statements that fit in as well, so I think there is something to it. I might start a new thread called "The quest for mediocrity" but I am still working through my thoughts a bit.

CB

Me; 42, W; 43
M; 16 yrs
S12, D9

3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure"
5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"