Questions without answers...will the hurt stop?

[RosaLinda]

"We are our own worst enemies, reading stuff between the lines that THEY don't put there; hoping that the vague, noncommittal comments they make are hints or omens of more to come. Take what he says to mean exactly and ONLY what the words mean, and in a GENERAL sense for that exact moment.

The words we read into this situation do the most harm to us, in most cases."

I sure agree with this Dawn Marie. My H says something loving and my heart leaps with joy and hope; my H says something idiotic and mean, and I am sure it's all over this time, this really is the end. I try to remember what Cadet tells us all in the beginning -- to not believe ANYTHING they say, and only half of what they do. But it's hard for my brain and heart to connect here and ignore his words, because my H was my rock, a good strong reliable loving man, so my heart cannot understand why he is lying, why he is so mean, why he is saying all these horrible things. They must be true.

But I don't think it's the words we read into the situation that hurt us, but rather that it's the expectation the words cause us to have. I'd say a good 75% of the pain I feel from my H's MLC is caused by my own expectations. It is so hard though, so so hard to have hope yet no expectations.

Hang in there Dawn Marie, with best wishes from Linda Marie