I'm on vacation this week and I decided to spend the time with my parents. (Grad Party on Sat, Father's Day Sun & mom still sick and underweight)
When H found out that I was going, his eyes lit up and he did that thing movie villains do with their hands "hands together & twiddling their fingers." I laughed and told him that if he was going to be like that, that I'd just stay home. (I knew he was "trying" to be funny)
Well, we texted a few times (I want to see a specific concert and wanted to know if he would go with me, he agreed.
At night, he would text me again about the cat getting sick and messing up the house or random stupid stuff.
Over the course of four days he instigated talks about:
- via text: his drinking to much and that he needed help. We had a brief chat and he mentioned that getting a house would solve some of the problems (no kidding, 8 yrs since we married and still living in his parents basement ).
- via phone: he asked me I want this to work on a scale of 1 - 10. When I said "10", he said, that's it. I replied that that was the scale he gave me.
- via text: who I was banging. I told him no one, he asked "why not" and I told him that I only banged him.
- via text: if I was alive and well ... because "We're still leagally joined so I should check in with him on my well-being." This one got me since last year he would get upset if we sent a text asking him if he was alive when we didn't hear from him in a few days.
- via text: houses (I'm looking places to buy/rent to get out of his parents home either with or without him.) I sent him a few locations (he knows good/bad neighborhoods) and he would say yes/no. He actually said last night, if we stay together no, but if it's just for you, yes. SMH
So, I'm still working on my GAL. The 180 really haven't been implemented yet because I really have to figure out what I can do. I feel like he's still pulling/pushing and I'm along for the ride.
I have to admit, even though I don't want to, my will to keep trying is weakening. So many people are telling me that I'm a saint for sticking this out. My therapist doesn't want to see my heart broken any more than it already has been, but she sees that I'm getting much stronger.
I pray that I can stick it out.
Me39 H35 M8 T14 Early 5/12 H FB post re: his love for me. End 5/12 H done trying, writes "Dear John" letter 6/12 Wants D, calls ATTY, no file 1/13 Loves me, wants to try, moves home 3/13 Changes mind
).
