First i will say im on cymbalta. 90mg at this point. i was on 30 just for pain from a neck problem.
the next is I do not want to stay on this at all for the rest of my life. Me being the Dummy i tried to take myself off it cause i was thinking it was making things worse. OH BOY dont ever just stop taking it and also ask the Dr how to come off cause i just tried myself and i was sick and had to staart taking it again. But it has only been 5 days and i feel a little better but not sure if it is meds or just me having a little more faith and letting go and letting God work in W life. Looking back I see that i have tried to do everything i could to make her come back and nothing I do will make that happen. I have to let go and let God restore this M.
Yes i still try to take back control but i learn fast that it does not work now. All I can do is just Pray and Try to work on me. If i look in the mirror and be honest with myself i can ask would my W want to come back to me in this condition. At this point I say no. So i need to work on me and become a better person then I was before. I can tell you it is not easy for me and im sure anyone. But i keep trying.
The only major major major problem i have these days is the morning times. I do not know how to get past this. I have so many bad thoughts in my head and i also start thinking about my W and when will she come back and i pray hard sometimes i yell at God saying things like why is he not doing anything. These thoghts are killing me in the morning. All this starts at around 5:30 am everyday. i get out of bed around 6:30 no matter if i slept at all or not. this is not good for me. So i get up take my meds for the day and go to work. I hate the weekends but will work on that too.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to deal with this morning thing. Some days are better but i still have them. It just makes it hard to start the day this way all the time.
