constant reminders - triggers

[abbey1989]

awwww thanks nnp1965! Don't know who else to talk to about my sitch so just post here. Haven't talked to friends, relatives, H, anyone.

H travels now....Vegas today, Bay Area tonight and tomorrow, back on Thursday. His work is pretty stressful. I still can't help but think why the heck he has complicated his life so much by doing what he does, but he is a grown man and I'm sure he feels like he is getting ducks in a row or something like that.

I have gone through periods of time where I'm ambivalent, and then times where I feel all is good. I just wonder how many of you out there have been dealing with a spouse who just will not ever admit to his/her affair even when questioned a few times over the course of a few years? Is anyone dealing with a spouse who has been in a longtime 4+ year affair/relationship with another person and how have you handled it? I think if H would just come clean about the whole thing, I could handle it. Whatever the results. Lying by omission and just lying in general just shatters trust.

On the outside, all appears the same. We still gather with friends and family. We still go out together as a couple. But something is "missing". I know it. And now that I have confirmed his deviousness (separate mailbox, bank account, cell phone....and most likely alternate living space) I just feel like I'm a bit in limbo.

Searching for answers or signs from above! haha

Thanks for listening. Sleep well!