Tad, you know way to much about what is going on there. That's part of the problem. If you knew less, you'd be better off.
Yeah. The boys need to stop telling me things.
They may not stop. It's possible, in some strange way, they think they are helping you. Or... they are just venting because they know you'll support them.
It still will take YOUR action of detaching and not the words or actions of someone else.