Amy, how exactly do you know that this buddy is turned on by his W having sex with other men and that she has been with at least 15 other guys? I'm just making sure that your information on such is not hearsay.
Also, I appreciate that you may have had a more conservative upbringing. The question is, are YOU more conservative minded by choice? Why or why not?
Originally Posted By: amy1982
I may be wrong but it seems to me the more confident you are in your worth & value, the less likely you are to succumb to having an affair to feel good.
I want to speak to this, specifically. I would submit the more confident one is to their worth and value, the more likely they are to follow their core beliefs. What I might find is my worth and value does not make it worthy or valuable in another's eyes. Yet... if I am confident in it, I won't be swayed by other's belief systems.
Hope that makes sense for you and how you are following your own life path from this point forward.
That said, is an EA or PA a deal breaker for you, when you consider your worth, value, and morals?
I do understand how you wish your H would be more... attentive to you. Although I would caution your interest in your H being jealous of other's intention towards you. That can make for an unhealthy bond between you two. By all means, most people desire a monogamous, exclusive R with their intimate partner. That said, jealousy is a dangerous animal to entertain, in many ways.
Ah OK, I see in your last post you do point to a conservative church setting. By all means, without more information it was valid for you to have certain expectations regarding your H's behaviours. That said, perhaps you did not know your H well enough. Expectations can be our undoing. At this time, please try to keep expectations at zero.
What were some of his complaints regarding you? On this specific question, please indicate only things he specifically mentioned. Do you think they could be valid?
