read La bug's words again...they are spot on for you.
Live today, you have no idea what will be happening 6 months from now. I would bet, like most WASs here that your W was checked out long before the BD but tried to stay in the game until it got to be too much. Unfair, maybe but that's what's on your plate, my plate, most everyone here got served the same dish. Don't make up stories about it, harness your need to make everything awful. (STOP the catastrophizing...it's part of the paradigm shift you must make ASAP or at least begin to...remember Carol's story? Maybe you ought to go read it again)
You wrote that you don't want to become like some Dd friends of yours. I had a similar goal, to keep from becoming resentful and angry, I gave enough of my life up to those feelings. You said you "hoped" you wouldn't become those things and it sounded as if you thought it was up to someone or something else to keep that from happening. It's completely YOUR choice, through YOUR actions and thoughts. Stay away from those people who are like that because they will want to teach you how to be just like them. Misery loves company.
Amen.
And although misery does love company, the inwardly content people are never lonely.
YOU CAN CHANGE BUT YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IT, FOR IT TO HAPPEN.
And you have to get those tools Sp. Did you even check out the website of the workshop "Essential Experience"? Please do.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
