Brightfuture, SS has either been putting on a brave face or is fine with the sitch. He does a great job of acting "as if" and we have never talk about the sitch...although he has been living away for most of it.
FY thanks for the advice. Yes I have talked with a coach and was saving a session for when I most needed it. Looks like now is the time. Coach said to make W my project, from what I've told him his view is that she has spent so much time caring for others she wants someone to look after her. To make her feel special again. This is similar to Sandi2 earlier post on my sitch on my first thread. Basically he said keep doing what I am doing but to really search to get to know her again.
I won't blow up to her and the letter is a very good idea.
Wendylon - thank you for the comments. W thinks she is hard done to because of her carers allowance. Although when you add everything up including benefits for S it is a tidy sum - enough so she can afford 2 holidays abroad and a weekend away this year!. It just irks me that she feels she should get paid for looking after S. Whilst I agree he is demanding and there should be some recompense if she cannot work. But she could work weekends now etc but basically thinks the state owes her a living.
I won't be making any decisions but I just feel like this is hopeless. The bulk of my anger however is frustration about special needs S. She has made a couple of comments along the lines of he won't know any different and the way she sees this whole sitch as an opportunity for her to get more breaks! It is this I want to get off my chest more than anything else. The fact that just because he cannot talk or communicate well it doesn't mean he is not affected......and to make comments along the lines of lets use this to out advantage so we can go on holiday alone etc etc just gets on my nerves...especially seeing S will probably not get a holiday as it is too much to manage him on a flight or holiday alone.
But as usual when I got to W on Monday to drop S things off she had already made a coffee and got 2 chairs out in the back garden! I ended up staying until lunchtime (the time just flew by). But I think that is my problem. I am getting well and truly in the friendship zone and she isn't experiencing what it would be like without me around at all. I then drive away wishing I had dropped things off and left.
IDK need sometime to think about my strategy. It will be 12 months in August and so far there seems no way of any reverse to my sitch. I even have times when I doubt it is MLC but then I think back to what she was like and guess I only see a small glimpse of her these days so don't know.
