PON, Your wife sounds like she's projecting on to you her thoughts about herself and maybe what her parents said to her a long time ago. I would have to say something like this, "wife, I'm sorry you feel the way that you do, but for now, I need to have some time to think about what you have said and we'll talk some more later." Walk away then and table the discussion until both of you have calmed down enough to discuss it in a calm manner.
People in mlc project a whole lot and most of it is about them and most of the time it's about what they think of themselves. I know it's difficult to swallow, but in many instances, you can't take the stuff they say too personally or you'll go nuts. Listen to what TV and T2 have said in their postings.
You've got a great support system here and in the real world. If you are not sure what to say, table the conversation and walk away, try not to take their bait. Okay?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
