First off - never apologize for over posting. Better to get this stuff out here...and it gives me something meaningful to do at work
It probably is a little bit of the normal distance/ pursuit dynamic, especially since she's never felt like she lost you. I think that's why we're telling you to try and detach and concentrate on you. Make her miss you, the only way these things work out for the long haul is if the WAS truly misses the LBS and feels they have to work to get them back (or at least that's what I've been told).
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I am very fearful that if I am not "there" or available, or if she sees me as disinterested then she will be gone for good. That she will view me as "checked out" and never wanting to return. THEN I think the parade of OMs will begin and I will be forgotten about and easily replaced.
Not one to pull punches so here goes a hard truth that I've been learning as well. How has always being there worked out? I was there for everything, including an illness that almost killed my W and had her laid up for over a year, and I'm now less then 2 weeks from my D being final.
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It is very, very, very painful for me to admit that I am ^^^^^^ THAT weak and insecure when it comes to pulling back and detaching. I am embarrassed to say that I have so little confidence...
First off don't be embarrassed about who you are, or were. Instead of being embarrassed try to harness the pain and work on things to get your confidence back. As I said I've been following your sitch for a while and you've stood for what you believe in (your M and your family) and that takes a confidence and an inner strength that most people don't have. I respect the hell out of you for still standing.
With that, what are you going to do to start working on you again? Nothing to do with W, what are YOU doing?
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
