Getting Back to Me

[RealityTrip]

UPDATE: My W is on her way here. She was planning on coming into town to help me since I am having my wisdom teeth out on Friday. In the midst of planning she got the opportunity to work in another city but is still coming in tonight. Her flight is tomorrow and she returns on Monday. She asked if she could stay for a while and "see how things go" between us. I waffled on the yes/no. I was honest with her about it but I'm not setting any expecations for myself in it if she does end up staying a while.

JOURNAL: I'm really tired and think that I'm cycling into the depression stage of my grief over the betrayal. I can feel a huge difference from the bargaining stage to this. It's been difficult to take care of myself, my home, get out of bed. All of those things. This depression is also different from the sadness I experienced when I was in Denial. This is not laced with sobbing and tears. Just fatigue and not caring. Just an blanket of sadness.

I'm not fighting it though. The sooner I release and let it wash over me the sooner I will move forward.

I feel like being quiet.