my W used those phrases as distancing tactics, I believe (though she really didn't have those feelings for me). Those feelings MIGHT be hidden under all the depression and such, but who knows...
Anyway, don't take the bait...just say "I am sorry you feel that way, that must be tough" sorta thing and let them roll off your back.
I would approach this discussion as a "truth dart" with the intent of cracking the ice just a bit...if my W is any example, it took (and still takes) a while for the discussion, new information and such to be processed by her (as in weeks, not hours).
If you go here, go in with no expectations, try to judge where she is at, keep it short, simple and do NOT get sucked into any spin, distancing tactics, attempts to prove the validity of her feelings or that you haven't changed, etc by you REACTING and defending yourself...most likely she will try hard to do so if I understand your sitch at all.
If you have any doubts about your ability to remain calm, cool, detached, then sit quietly and wait until you can (yes, I learned this the hard way), or something changes. Little is lost by waiting "just a little bit more"...
Just my 2.5 cents...good luck T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
