Thanks T2. I've done #1 for 3 years. She has come back and gone 2x. First time because I snooped her phone when I felt she had lied to me and found out about OM hitting on her. The 2nd time (2 months ago) because my comment about taking kids to vacation house when she is at her concert was smothering or old behavior.
Yes I have seen many L's. I live in a no fault state and a state that favors mothers on child visitiation. (blows)
My gut is telling me I can't live in silence or in conflict avoidance mode any longer. We need to have some sort of communication about everything.
I have been praying to higher power all day. My gut says to send her a message after kids in bed and see how she responds and be prepared for the worst. yes if she asks for D I know I have to follow through with it or I lose all power and respect...
hell maybe i'll post the message I've written here:
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I want to begin to work on bringing our marriage back to a healthy state. I've come to understand we both didn't have the greatest role models when it comes to resolving problems and conflict. I do know we both have to start communicating and not sitting in silence with unresolved problems.
To me working on a marriage is more then having s ex again, brushing unresolved issues under the rug, and waiting for me to make a mistake, or to fail a test.
WIFE I want to try something new. A conversation with each other where we both calmly speak and we both truly listen to each other.
