B & Portia it's all about going thru stages.. and that's all your doing.. it's hitting you in waves and your just at a low part of that wave of emotion. I am right there with you. I can't even begin to fathom the idea that some how my W fell out of love with me long before the BD.... We (or so I thought) were rock solid.. other than some ups and downs, which were way less than most relationships.. there should have been no reason to end it. I had one of my worst weekends just the past week.. I don't know why?? it's been a long time since the BD.. my W and I barely speak (no kids between us) we txt back and forth every few weeks and that's it.. I get the odd "I miss the good times" stuff like that. The point is that this is all normal... it's all part of the feelings you get in a WAS/MLC situation. If you two had been fighting for years and were both unhappy.. then the separation would have been expected and easier to deal with. So basically what I am saying is let the emotions run thru you, and then get rid of them. Don't fight them. I did for months and it does more damage than good. Grieving helps the healing process and allows you to be a better and stronger person. This site has accelerated my healing process a lot. It's all the LBS can do.. so why fight it? Make YOU a better YOU!
The way I look at it is this... I got to experience TRUE love with someone. We had 9 amazing years..most people go thru life and never get that. Celebrate the love you had with your MLC before the BD, and use that positive energy to rebuild yourself.
I am not giving up.. but I am not holding on either.
M-39 W-41 T-9yrs BD-Dec 2012 “regardless of your choices and the fact that they may have caused me to experience painful emotions, I still love you because I recognize the purpose of our journey.”
