B,

I know exactly how you feel. Exactly.

He does not care, does not want me. OK, fine. I'll live. Not happy about it but I will be fine.

But WHY can't I just then kick him out of my thoughts and mind? I can pretend that he misses me but the only one missing anybody is me missing him. And I want it to stop. Right now.

Apparently this is not how it works.