wow- you sure sound DONE and then some. i think if it were MY CHOICE - AS IN my h was sniffing around and i was the guy deciding- maybe i'd feel the same. i've often wondered.
part of all of my trauma is that i am without power in this sitch- visa vie him - know what i mean? if he were dying for me back- maybe i'd say go jump in the lake loser. one wonders.
can you go "retreat" somewhere at all? no aunt huh? how long do you reckon you need to be away from him to normalize a bit? a stint or do you have "forever" in mind til you want to see him?
it's so tough for you- having him there - sometimes i envy it- sometimes i find it better to not look at his head.
when he's nice i think "maybe" - when he's ratty and a jerk i want to run fast and just stop it all rite now.
i flip and flop
i hope your day isn't a bad one. i'm so sorry for your quandry- i'll go buy a stupid old lottery ticket. who knows? if i win a bazillion bucks - i can get that cottage in england (maybe on shore- not sure about that) and you can come join me there and we can RETREAT BIG time- pretty garden jumbled with tons of flowers- stone walls with mossy stuff & a few sheep hopping around- scones (american ones that taste like something good to eat instead of a lump of sand - and so on. italian coffee (italian garden guy /loveman) allll the lovely pastry they make so well- every tiny village has a wonderful bakery full of real cream things- (and then their food is soooooo bad- wtf???) firm mattresses tho- where does one find one in england??? plumpie duvet- big fat english breakfast with bacon,eggs, toast, tomato, beans & something sweet-; pretty pretty countryside w/ hedgerows as far as the eye can see & rolling hills and NO HOT HOT SUN. COOOOL cooool english summer- YAY.....
MY HAPPY PLACE....
hope your day is okay- thanks for making me go there- i guess one can have a fantasy- it did make me feel better a bit-
