Linda ~ figuring out what his needs are and what she is doing to fill them is a work in progress for me.

I am piecing together things that he told me pre and post bomb. Also taking into consideration things like her personality and all the things that people get out of a R when it is new.

This taken from an online article "Cheating spouses: Six Reasons the Affair Won't Last":

"2. Their needs aren't being met. The affair partner may meet one or two of the spouses needs perfectly, but the husband/wife are meeting all the others.

During the affair, the cheating spouse may believe that they feel so alive with their affair partner and that person is all they need to make them complete and happy. Little do they realize though, that the cheating spouse is being fulfilled in other by their wife and family."

It's a very good article - reinforces a lot of what we hear on the boards.

T, I don't think I ever realized our time frames were that close.

I think we find out when we are ready to find out, when the Big Guy upstairs thinks we can handle finding out.

I remember reading in one of HB's posts that she found about the A as it was ending. She felt that if she had found out sooner, she would have thrown her H out and not saved the M.

And although I knew pretty much from the get go that there was someone else, I bounced around - A LOT - as to who it was. I believe I found out it was ex friend when I was strong enough to handle it. And even then... Boy, did it make my heart hurt... Still does...

You have been a guiding light for me since I started here, and I think you are a strong, patient man. (Not to mention funny too!)

As you always tell people - you rock!!!!

Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me

~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."