Bad Timing and Making a Mess of Things

[slow_it_down]

DBing, being separated and going dark is depressing when it comes to step kids. My H has been in my D6's life for the past 4 years - meaning he's been there for as long as she can remember. Now suddenly he's just not there and has no real reason to stay in touch with her or my S9 since they aren't technically his kids and he doesn't want to be part of our family any longer.

My kids haven't seen my H (their step father) for a full month and have randomly been bringing him up the past few days. Last night my D6 said "I want to call him, to see if he's coming back when the baby is born. I want him to come back."

Its heart wrenching to see a child in pain. Its even harder to tell her we can't call. If I knew she'd just call to say hi and to chat I would let her call, but having her call to say she missed him and to ask when he'd be back would only push him further away. If he were reaching out to talk to them I'd be fine with it, but I can't push the other direction if he no longer sees himself as their step father.

The last time my H moved back in (on Mother's Day) my D6 gave him a whole spiel about how he needs to stay in one place. He needs to either stay with us or stay at work (I guess that's where she thinks he goes when he's not living with us). He didn't get upset but he also didn't really respond. At that point I don't think he would've expected to be moving out again a few days later.

I guess I'm just sad to think that even though I know deep down I'll be fine one way or another eventually, that I feel remorse for bringing someone into my kids lives, not keeping up my end of the bargain on being a supportive wife and now just like that he's gone out of their lives.