Dear Nero and Mizjjd- thank you both for posting on my thread, and thank you to all of you who post the good and bad of your sitch on this site. I have only posted a few times, but I have spent along time of the past months reading some of your stories. It would also seem that I have learnt a lot from your experiences.

I may not be in the place that I want to be, but I am in a much better place than I could have ever imagined when all of this started. I visited my C today - he said that he noticed such a difference in me (body language) as I walked across from the car. I feel much more "me". I talked to two old friends on the phone yesterday. A really good GF based in Oz, who I always thought was so "together". She told me she admired me for the way I am handling this situation and that she could never have done this (as she is 3x divorced I guess not LOL). But I also found I was really listening to her probs, which is not how the sitch usually is with us.

My other friend and his partner came to lunch last weekend. He told me they could believe how comfortable and relaxed I seemed in myself - Said I seemed even better than I was before all this BS started. He also took on my advice to just sit back and see what happens with some issues he has - I wonder where I got that gem from.

My c says I have come along way - and he is right. But I think you have all helped me- So I thank you all soooo much.

I have also learnt:

NOT to pry (learnt very early on the hard way. What the eye doesn't see the heart doesn't grieve over.

STFU - learning to keep my mouth shut has been a hard one.

To sit back and let the answers come to me.

To take the time and space when hurt/upset to be on my own. Reacting in the heat of the moment burns your fingers... I deal with sitchs much better when I have calmed down and thought things through.

PMA and GAL do make a big difference.

I have more patience than I could ever have imagined.

there is always someone else who is worse off than you - some of you who have been standing for years, with small children, health issues and the like are all in my prayers.

This isn't about me, and I didn't cause it and can't fix it.

None of us deserve this - but we are strong, good people who will rise above all of this with dignity and grace. No one will be able to turn to anyone of us and say we didn't try to save our relationships.

I have always believed that my partner will come back - and that belief remains. It hasn't stopped me moving forward though. One step at a time...