T, I estimate the A to have started as an EA sometime in the fall of 2011, then turned PA early in 2012. So things have been going on for about a year and a half.
From what I know about both of them - who they were and who they are now - I believe them both to be in crisis. Not sure if this prolongs things or not.
I do believe that my H may feel "inferior" in some ways to me. Even during the crisis, he is still complimentary to me as a mother. He has even said I was a good wife. He has stated several times that it is not me, it's him.
I often wonder if OW plants ideas in his head like "You know TVS would never accept what you have done, but I accept you" or "we are more alike and better together". I could be wrong, but I could also see her doing something like that.
Hope you are doing well! Did you have a nice Father's Day?
Hi UW
I think an attempt on my part to "bust" him would be turned around on me to say I was "spying" on him. I've worked too hard to let that happen. Plus, you are right, he will just lie and deny till the cows come home.
I have a feeling too, that we will here more from his family. Like you said, his problem. Will it be a reality check for him?
I have been reassessing how I act at home. I think I have become very good at distancing myself from him - I never ask where he is going or with who. I never ask him questions in general about his outings.
I had posted about asking him to crack my back, and that it went well. I asked him for a mini shoulder rub the other day, and that went well too. First time he has touched my shoulders in a year and a half!
I think a lot has changed since the bomb, and I need to change with it. So, I am looking for little ways to connect with him, both physically and emotionally. He seems to be open to it now. Also, in thinking about what needs OW fills, he does seem to like to do things for me and the positive reinforcement he receives. I am going to try to build on that.
Thanks for taking the time to give me advice - I know you have a lot going on. As you always say, it matters
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
