If it helps, my W at first, from what she told me, felt entitled, then compelled, addicted to her man friend, especially when the depression was really bad, but the "what I'm doing is wrong" and guilt, shame eventually worked back up to the surface. She said she knew it was wrong, but.....
If I interpret my journal correctly from the "odd" things I documented her saying, I would guess the PA started around beginning of Feb 2012, and per her she was done (at least the PA part) Jan 2013, so roughly a year...of course there were all the concurrent online EA's, but that's another story all together. So maybe the approximate "1 year" time is getting close for you now? Before it unravels?
I admire your strength knowing the affair is ongoing, I have some reprieve in that she says she has stopped, and I am going to "act as if" I trust her, until evidence otherwise.
My IC said something that may help...that MAYBE W feels "inferior" to me, because I have stood, kept the house and all its stuff going, improved me, and didn't have an affair of my own, and have survived 2 years with no ML... and W actually hinted around that a few times...and maybe this is making her "stuck" right now...and that as a woman, my IC thinks its possible that W is terrified of touching me because it might "let loose" the old, buried feelings for me, and W isn't ready for that yet.
Anyway, hope maybe that helps some...
You rock, TVS! T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
