Not New to This Anymore

[steveh27]

just some catching up.

No change here ... needed to take some time and gather my thoughts outside of these forums. Still living together, haven't told the kids yet (waiting for school to be over this week), still sleeping in same bed. We have been extremely nice with one another as of late, but again nothing has changed from her standpoint of moving forward with the D. We had mediation last week, and she made mention at the end of my extreme calmness and willingness to work amicably. We went to the diner after and had a good talk. I did slip and make mention of the OM. I asked her to at least think carefully about having anything to do with him for obvious reasons (he's married and working through MC). I told her she is a beautiful women who could do so much better and I would want better for her in the future and for the kids. Yes, I stepped over my bounds with that and I apologized for it shortly after and she accepted.

I do not believe she has had much contact with him since the BD, but I think she is possibly being respectful (yeah that hurts saying that word) until the papers are signed. Not sure. She doesn't go out at all, and during the day the S14 has been home except for exam days, so she doesn't get much opportunity anyway. She also tends to tell me where ever she goes during the day, not that I ask.

We haven't had an argument or "unkind" words in a couple weeks about the sitch. We actually are helping each other with finding new places when we sell the house. I'm proud of myself for taking the high road on this. Does it hurt some days ... yes absolutely.
Although I need to do better on detaching and not INITIATING contact. This is crucial right now. She trusts who I am and has noticed positive changes in me, besides just being in great shape (work out almost 2x/day now, running 20-25 mi wk) which she makes comment almost every day about. It's hard living together and detaching or at least not initiating contact. We are trying to get the house ready to sell, so there are a lot of questions that come up as a result.

Lately I've been reading Crimson's sitch. Only half way through, but there is a lot of good help and information in those posts. Plus it's a bit inspiring if nothing else ... and I need that right now. I don't want false hope or expectations, but need something to keep my head up at times.

Had a nice Fathers Day yesterday. W got up early and grabbed breakfast and we sat and had some awesome danishes and bagels. She asked what I wanted to do for dinner. I had recommended a great summer place we go once or twice a year for pizza and steamers ... she seemed to be excited in that choice as did I and the kids. I worked out after the late breakfast and got my S14 to run with me. I have a treadmill and a bench in the basement and normally my D9 always come down with me. She loves doing gymnastics and doing flips and all kinds of moves I won't pretend to know the names off. It's nice to have the room for that now, and I know that will go away when we are forced into separate living conditions. I digress however.

Well just updating the sitch here. Thanks again for everyone's advice and support.