Limbo, I'm glad you were able to get in the yard today. I'm kind of jealous .....I missed springtime in my yard this year. I found pictures of my W on the camera today that made me extremely depressed. Not sure what I should do about them.
Hi Blue! I did enough yard work today for both of us. Sorry you are feeling down. Don't do anything with the pictures right now. Just leave them in the camera. Don't look at the pictures right now. That is just too painful and your emotions are just raw. Take some new pictures of stuff that you enjoy. Maybe some pretty flowers in the yard or some cool old buildings or even pretty clouds in the sky. Something that will make you happy. I know how hard this is and I am so sorry we are here. But please know you are not alone. And we all know that pain and rawness. Keep posting and breathing. You know I am here for you. Try and get some rest. Even if it is just laying down and saying some prayers.
Hi Linda! That is a good idea about the pictures. I am wiped out from the yard work. I still have more to do though.
As far as Fathers Day, the kids don't want to acknowledge it and that is fine by me. H is coming over tomorrow to work in the garage. H asked if we were going to do anything...we usually cookout steaks cause that is H favorite. I am debating whether to go get a couple steaks tomorrow. Obviously H doesn't deserve it but I am an idiot lately... we will see.
I hope you have a good night tonight. Keep hanging in there!
Limbo, I’m glad my words made a bit of difference. It definitely looks like your H is not getting everything from JW. This is pretty much how every affair goes. Apparently there are some troubles and he is looking for your support. Silly man… You are not his mother. I would pull away once in a while, especially when he is with JW.
It looks like your H wants to be with the family on Father’s day. I think this is a good thing. Maybe he didn’t deserve it now, but he probably was a good father in the past. Maybe it is OK to cook the steaks, idk. See how you feel and how your kids react. I hope your son and daughter will figure out their feelings about you and H. Just like you, they will also need more time to process everything.
Hope you have a good Sunday.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Good morning Bright. H has been a good dad but not for quite awhile. I have told H many times that his kids need to come first and before JW. I have decided against the steaks. H so does not deserve them. Maybe next year So looks like peanut butter sandwiches will be on the menu.
I do worry a lot about my kids and how they are getting thru all this. We-- the 3 of us-- do lots of talking about things so I think that helps. I just really have to keep close tabs on my daughter because of her mental state.
H continued to text last night. I just stopped answering his texts. H texted about 1:30 am and asked if I was okay. Still didn't answer.
Bright..thank you for being such a good friend to me. And I smiled when you called him a silly man.. Oh yes indeed he is. Your words give me such comfort and your advice is spot on. You are in my thoughts and prayers all the time. When you H pulls his head out of his butt he better realize what a wonderful person you are and he is lucky yo have you. : )
Have a good day today and do something really nice just for YOU. Take care!
Your H doesn’t realize right now how much damage he is doing to his relationship with the kids. All you can do right now is to be there for your kids. And you need to be strong. I realized that my son was very hurt by our separation with my H, and he didn’t want to talk about it. So, I stopped talking and making sarcastic comments about H. I try to be positive around my son and it helps our relationship with him. I know that it is easy said than done, especially since your kids are still leaving with you. Try to keep your conversations light.
Limbo, thank you for your kind words and support. I do hope that one day my H realizes what he is missing. I just hope it is not too late.
I did have a good day today. Went for yoga in the morning, and then later met my GF for dinner.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
I think that MLC is hard on kids no matter what their ages, but bet it's the worst for teenagers. They are trying to establish their own identity during those years, and it must be so hard to have a formerly rational loving parent suddenly turn into an angry confused stranger. Especially for kids like your daughter, Limbo, who are already fragile.
You're doing a great job of holding it together for them. I think it's great that you are concentrating on the three of you right now. Your H will work his problems out slowly, but in the meantime you're your kids lifeline. I really respect you for that.
Hi Bright ans Linda~~ Hope you are both having a good day.
Bright, I actually changed it up a wee bit and made ham and swiss croissants which were sooo good if I do say so myself Added some chips and dip and that was dinner. I have tried very hard to not do any H bashing around the kids. I save all that up for you all!! I let them vent and say what they need to then try to follow that up with no matter what H is still your dad and still loves you. And H really has been a good dad in the past. And my son is struggling so much because he wants his " old" dad back so much. Daughter at this exact moment hates him and wants no part of him.
Bright I really think this is a positive thing H talking with you. The text you sent H was so thoughtful. And I am sure it is giving H more to think on. I am so glad you had a good day. That makes me soo happy f or you. I really want to try and learn to do yoga but I am not the most graceful or bendable person on the planet. But in keeping with my GAL I am going to look into it.
Linda~~thanks for the encouragement about the kids. I worry I am doing all the wrong things but I am trying. I know that pain and agony I am in and I do not want that for them. This just [censored] for everyone involved. I am so happy you got Ha pizza. I have been smiling about that since I read it.
H was here pretty much most of the day yesterday. In the garage a lot but also checking in the house too. Wanting me to come keep him company out there. I could tell H was kinda having a bad day. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that FD weekend was always such a big deal. We went all out to make sure H had a good day. Presents, his favorite food, pies-his favorite. This year--nothing. Then as soon as H left, he starting textingme right away. Daughter said " is he even out of the driveway yet??"
The hot and cold, mean and civil stuff is so confusing... I know H looks awful and he says all the time he "feels like crap.". Hmmm wonder why??
So another day in the trenches as my momma would say . I have a date with some nasty weeds in the back yard and then get to scrub the floors. How much fun can I have in one day?? Have a good day ladies and I am sure I will be back later.
Oh Limbo, you think your H is feeling sad because no one made a big fuss over him for Fathers Day? But that is all his own fault, isn't it? Deserting his wife and kids to go carry on with JW indeed, did he think it wouldn't bother them?
It's so strange that he's been texting you so much. It sounds like he's looking for something -- approval maybe? I would have thought that it meant that he misses you (I'm sure he does miss you, the kids, and his home!) except that he had just driven away when he started again. What kinds of things does he text? Is it just logistical stuff, or personal stuff?
Let me know how you make out with the yoga! I've never tried it, but met this chubby dumpy little woman around my age, and the next time I saw her, she had a fabulous figure. She said she was doing yoga! I never forgot it!
.....I missed springtime in my yard this year.