Thank you Cadet. I will keep your encouragement in mind. Its just so difficult to keep at a distance and expecting nothing back when I love him so much and craving for his love and attention. We went out on a date day yesterday (with babysitter looking after S) walking around outside and although I knew he was trying his best to be nice it was so painful to not hold his hand and to see him sad and tired and withdrawn. And the sad thing is that yesterday was a "good" day and I'm trying to not look too much into it as at any time the situation can drop back into a deep black hole. And I don't know if, when he does do the affectionate gestures, if he is having to force himself to do it to please me, or if a few bright rays came through.
Is anyone in a similar situation in which your spouse didn't want a child but gave in and now you are suffering from their resentment and anger?
