Been awhile..

[Jeack]

So I haven't been on here for awhile. I've been trying to deal with my anger towards W and her going back to her old BF. I've detached pretty well to a point and have found the more I detached the more she quickly ran to OM. We havent seen each other since early April, Talks are non existent except me trying to get her to pay bills that she agreed to so this is my farewell email to her. Was looking for feedback. I want to send it Monday morning since she'll be at work at not with OM.


Hey I had a lot of alone time to really think and I first want to say I'm sorry. I know life has been hard and you had to make a lot of tough decisions. The last thing I want to do is make things more hard. I've had a lot of unanswered questions and don't worry I'm not going to overwhelm you with them. I've done alot self reflection and I know you made the right decision for us. I won't say ill never stop wanting to be with you because that would be a lie. You still have my heart and I know it's hard to believe but I still would like to be friends. It's not a plot to get you to get back with me. I've lost you but I still consider you one of my best friends. I've tried to forget about you and I've might of done somethings and said some things that are unforgivable but believe me my actions have never been to hurt you. I've decided to let go of the material things keep the ring. Also don't worry about the car insurance, impound fees or dog bill look at those as apart of the divorce decree. All I want is for you to be happy and just know I'm always in your corner. If you ever need to talk just know my door is always open. I want to end things on a positive note and get the divorce done so you can be happy. I don't want to be pushy so take your time. I'm going to email you the settlement and when you agree I'll send it to my lawyer to finalize it. Again I'm happy you found someone who loves you. This will be the last time I contact you and again I'm sorry.

Really could use some feedback. Thanks and Happy Fathers day to all the Dad's out there

[Cadet]

Hey I had a lot of alone time to really think and I first want to say I'm sorry.
I know life has been hard and you had to make a lot of tough decisions.
The last thing I want to do is make things more hard.
I've had a lot of unanswered questions and don't worry I'm not going to overwhelm you with them.
I've done alot self reflection and I know you made the right decision for us.
I won't say ill never stop wanting to be with you because that would be a lie.
You still have my heart and I know it's hard to believe but I still would like to be friends. It's not a plot to get you to get back with me.
I've lost you but I still consider you one of my best friends.
I've tried to forget about you and I've might of done somethings and said some things that are unforgivable but believe me my actions have never been to hurt you.
I've decided to let go of the material things keep the ring.
Also don't worry about the car insurance, impound fees or dog bill look at those as apart of the divorce decree.
All I want is for you to be happy and just know I'm always in your corner.
If you ever need to talk just know my door is always open.
I want to end things on a positive note and get the divorce done so you can be happy.
I don't want to be pushy so take your time.
I'm going to email you the settlement and when you agree I'll send it to my lawyer to finalize it. Again I'm happy you found someone who loves you. This will be the last time I contact you and again I'm sorry.

Way too wordy and relationship talk, keep it strictly business and get rid of the rest.

[Cadet]

FTR normally you dont get the ring back in a divorce case.

It is considered a gift that you gave her and you are not entitled to it back.

So you might consider getting rid of that line too.

[BklynMom]

I thought it was beautiful

[chasingpavements]

I agree with Cadet, it is too lengthy, and would keep it about business. Unless you wanted to add something brief about remaining friends, to show you have no hard feelings.

[Jeack]

We had a pretty good arguement on the 5th and she's not responding to me or my lawyer anymore. That was the reason for the lengthy email. I'm aware that the ring is her's and that i'll never get back the money i've given her. So i'm trying to make peace with her to get the process finished. She knows that I don't want a divorce but the longer this drags on the more money it is costing me financially.

I wish I would have DB'd a lill better in the beginning, maybe I wouldnt be here now.

[newman7977]

I like Cadet's edits too and to keep it business like.

Newman

[Jeack]

Well I went with my gut instinct. I sent the email to her unedited just as I wrote it. I was extremely surprised to hear back from her. here's our text conversation.

W:? Why are you being nice

M: Tired of Fighting

W:....I don't know whether to believe this or not

M: Well everything I wrote is truly how I feel. Don't know what else to say but that.

W: How are you doing?

M:Hanging in there. You?

W: Heard you were seeing someone?

M: Went out with a few people. But not really ready for that quite yet. lol

W: Still living without a roommate?

M: Yeah

W: Well that's good. I've been wondering how you're doing...

M: I'm doing alot better it was rough but I got thru it, I'm in a good place. Trying to find myself

M: Thinking about getting a dog.

W: You can have Pess? She's been a terror. (This her dog that she absolutely loves)

M: I'll take her if your serious (which I doubt lol) I miss that lil Sh!T

W: I'm actually half serious. I don't know if I could actually do it because I'd be heart broken but moms constantly bitching about her peeing in the house and she never gets to run outside any more. 😔 I'd be so sad but if you're serious I'd consider it for her.

M: Well the offer is there

W: Would I get visitation rights?

M: As long as you pay me doggie support. Lol. Jk. Yeah I'm sure we could work something out.

M: I would never not let you see her.

W: idk...I'd be worried that one of your girlfriends would be mean to her and I have to kick some a$$. (funny I have no girlfriends at all)

M: Like I said before that's not really high on my priority list. Working on myself. I'd rather have a dog than a GF🐶

W: Wrong answer! You should have said: I wouldn't let anyone EVER be mean to her! 😐

M:I think you already know that's true! But for the record I'd never let ANYONE man or woman be mean to her.

Then I sent a video of the dog playing in my house when we were together. and haven't heard anything else from her.

Now i'm thoroughly confused. By her questions. Looking for advice on what all this means. I do miss her. Just really confused now

[MrBond]

Well in your message you pretty much accepted blame for everything bad in your M and that you'll be there for her no matter what (even if she has OM). There's no reason why she'd be mad at you. Sorry but it sounds like you gave her an open invitation to walk all over you.

Just IMHO.

[Jeack]

Dam, I guess your right. So how do I change that?