I would like to give you a little breakdown on my past realtionship history. First and foremost, there wasn't much. I dated here and there since highschool, but never EVER connected like I did with wife. My wife was litterally my first true love. I never had a long term relationship, prior to wife. I am not that guy who always has to have a girl on his arm, actually quite the opposite. I spent the majority of my life being very single. Along with that, I never really learned how to heal from a breakup, pretty much because I had very few and they were never SERIOUS relationships in the first place. Maybe that is where some of my confusion about wife dating and moving on comes from. Tonight, she left daughter with a babysitter allll night so she could go out with OM. I am just so much more committed than that. It seems weird to me that she, or I, could even interact with another person in a romantic way this soon after our breakup...or are we even broken up? I don't know. It feels like wife is DONE and GONE. That leaves me to deal with finding my way forward. That is why I asked if maybe I was doing it wrong. I have never called upon these feelings to "move on" before. I am a complete rookie in this arena. I know in my heart that I would like wife back, at least I think I do. I also know, or at least feel, that she isn't coming back. So, I wasn't sure how I needed to progress in kick starting my healing process. I really do feel stuck in many regards. I thought perhaps that would change my mindset of have some pyschological impact on getting me moving towards working on a new life or relationship. It was just a question that I wanted some advice with. I now realize that my gut feelings, are telling me that NO, this isn't a good idea. Therefore, I won't consider it until I feel like it is truly something I wish to pursue.
I am really going to focus on NEW GAL activities. 25, those were some great examples. I do need to grow myself in more ways. I am going to try. I am have been feeling that I need support moreso than anything. I guess I actually need to get distracted with new things to pull my mind away from my sitch. ...I'm on it!
