I go to an IC and it has helped me deal with what is happening with my marital crisis. I did not go there with the understanding that he was going to fix my marriage. I went there for myself to help me cope with the intense emotions that I had experienced due to my WAS.
It has helped me understand what is going on with my WAS and re-enforced that my DBing is the best way to survive the MLC/WAS. Our M may not survive but, I will move forward in a positive direction and I have become a better man, father and potential husband. That is the goal here. The bonus would be that my wife will see these things too and will choose to reconcile.
This forum, the books- DB and DR and my IC/MC helped me more than I thought they could in dealing with my WAS and what she is going through. They also helped me understand that this is not my fault, just my problem.
I did not have many people that I could talk to about my situation and my IC/MC was a valuable outlet to vent in that respect. He is helping me understand how to better communicate with my wife too.
To those who may be seeking an IC or MC, talk to your pastor at church. If you dont have a church, now would be a good time to find one. The church can refer you to an IC/MC that is pro marriage. Sometimes at a substantial discount. Its worth the phone call.
