I agree with Ad, especially that you often write things and then come back and say you didn't mean what you wrote. Maybe we misinterpret a lot or you don't communicate your thoughts clearly, could be a little of both.
You say in several posts that you love your W, that would mean to most people that you're not ready to date. There are 2 people involved in a dating R and while it might be a distraction and an exercise in "moving on" the other person could be hurt by that. I wouldn't want to date someone if I knew the motive was "I'm using you to get over my XW."
You asked for input on how to handle the anniversary and seemed confused when you got varying responses. That's the beauty of input, mulling over choices, getting ideas you may not have thought of, making a decision based on your values.
You posted I hear this kind of introspective advice a lot, and it gets lost on me. I am not sure if I am just not that in touch with my feelings and emotions, or if I am just a "man's man" or why. But, I don't get it. I feel that I already know who I am. I already know where I am going. I have zero plans to change my life completely in regards to where I live, how I work, who I socialize with. What is left to find? What sort of things am I supposed to be looking for? What kind of insight to my self do I need to find? If it has anything to do with self improvement, I get that. I am all in. I want to be a better person, better father, better spouse. I still need to work on it, but that is one thing I have FOUND. I would like some more input on this. I fear that maybe I am missing a large piece of introspect that I just don't get.
If you go back and read some of your posts notice how most of what you think makes you is external stuff-house, job, gorgeous wife, beautiful house...
Those things can all go away very quickly, what you're left with is you and I don't think you know who that is. No one can give you introspection, it's something you have to do on your own, and it's hard work. I've brought up values a few times and who you want to be, who you want to show the world. Your response: As far as who I want to be, I think I was that guy.
Really?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
