Mer is absolutely right. I'm not whacking you today... as I've said earlier, I try not to hit people when they're already down. It goes against my grain. And you ARE down.
I'm going to go with Meredith and ask you to identify those behaviors that she discussed.
When I first read your e-mail (which I got before your post), my heart did a few leaps. However, I have to tell you that I became more concerned that there has not been enough time devoted to making those resentments disappear.
Myrrh, this takes quite awhile and a lot of hard work.
I know how discouraging it can be to not get immediate results... for that, you're in good company.
Dazed Boy, I'll say this here for you too (before I head down your way): The MOST tough part of this process is the fact that most of the time, it's "all about" our spouses and very little of it can be "about me".
You know that I'm right there in line with all of you on that one--I get as sick as you do of letting this be "about him" 99% of the time. When I'm PMSing or exhausted, my resentments surface. I'll have you know the former will probably apply to me in the very near future (as in any moment), so look for any negative signs.
Myrrh, I am advocating devoting the next couple months initiating diaglogues where you can address your hurts and resentments--using the techniques. Not only will you get your answers, you may be enligtened as to reasons for behaviors which your H does and how intertwined they are.
Take a deep breath.
I know you love him, Myrrh. Right now, that love is a little bit cluttered with hurt and resentment. It's time to deal with the monster that keeps coming back to bite both of you.
Hugs!
Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
