Tad, you know way to much about what is going on there. That's part of the problem. If you knew less, you'd be better off.
As for the kids - they need to do what they feel is right with regards to their mom. Encourage them to do so and recognize that she is still their mom. If they can't look past what she has done for now, then help them to later. For their sake. She is still their mom regardless of her actions, right? And nobody should be estranged from their parents except in extreme cases (axe murderer for example). And of course she blames you. Get used to that while you accept what is, vs what "should" be.
Glad your mom is doing as well as can be expected. Hope that continues.
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
