"OK so she did not reply and it hurt but im ok. But still very depressed and going to see Dr this Sat tomorrow. let see if he can help and not make me feel like a zombie. I will not have that at all. I just feel like i'm a grown man and I should be able to deal with this. And becouse I cant i feel like im not the man i should be.
But this morning I had this feeling that i just wanted to say hi to W so i did send the text. and thats all it was " Hi " nothing more. She did reply and said Hello and that was it. i left it alone as i did not know what more to say.
I am sure she is thinking why did he just say hi. I have so much to say to her but it would push her over the edge and I would never have any chance if i even still have one now.
God why did you let this happen. Please fix me my W and our Marriage. All i realy want is for the W to get rid of this GF she has. I effin hate her so much as i know she took advantage of the situation cause thats just how she was.. she has done it before i know this cause she has said so when W and me and this Effin GF were out one day.
"I cant wait to see the Dr to see if he can help me to be happy and not depressed all the time.."
To be honest, this is why you aren't happy. You rely so much on external things to give you hope or happiness. Whether it's the Dr. or drugs or God. Only YOU can make you happy. God gave you every you need to BE happy. Your W isn't in that equation. YOU have to be happy on your own.
"some how I just need to have my W understand that even though she crossed over to the other side she can still come back."
No you don't. If you are going to leave it up to God's hands, then you need to let it go and stop thinking about your W. It's hard as hell, but you have to at least start. If not, then you will become resentful and angry.
" I think that sometimes she may feel that she crossed a bridge she does not know how to get back. I just want her to know it is ok and i will be here..."
No she has to know you won't be there. You exist for you and you alone.
"this all make sense to everyone. is it wrong thinking on my part."
Yes it is. Look, God will never challenge you with anything that you can't handle. Right now you can overcome all of this. But you have to GAL and do the things that make YOU happy. You've been praying and wallowing so long that you've neglected yourself.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
