"I Love you but love her too"....WHAT?

[Notlikingthis]

kml, I like that, a truck with a BIG gun rack in it! If I can find someone with a truck I'd have them park it in the spot that he usually parks his truck. As a matter of fact he parked it there this morning. I guess he doesn't want to disrupt his routine too much quite yet. It's just a matter of time before I pull one of the other cars out of the garage and park it there so he has to park it on the street.

Linda, I think he's already beginning to regret his decision to move. Well, not completely but he's been calling all day again. Btw, yesterday he ended up calling a total of 7 times and texting 3. I responded with 1 text late in the day and answered the phone last evening. Thanks for sending those validation statements. I did copy and paste them and put them in a safe place on my computer.

Today he only called 4 times and texted once twice. Once to tell me that he forgot his dental appt. today! They must have called his cell phone to reconfirm yesterday and he had already forgotten by today?

He came by a bit ago to get his truck. Boy was he surprised when his key didn't work in the door!! I didn't even know he was here until I heard his voice around the back of the house where I had a sliding door open. He didn't say a word about the locks being changed but after chatting for a few minutes about his busy day at work, he fed the cat, asked if he could take a bottle of wine out of the wine cellar, picked up his stack of mail from the counter, looked me straight in the eye and said, "it must be nice sitting here in a nice home". I thought, you are a "victim" by your own choice so don't expect sympathy from me. My mind was racing through the validation statements and I could find one that would fit. My brain immediately went to something that wouldn't have been appropriate so I looked him in the eye and said nothing. I'm going to have to memorize those or print them and carry them around with me in case I'm at a loss again. Anyway, he sort of sighed and humph'd and walked back out the door he came in without saying goodbye. Reality check, bud!

I received a call from one of my daughters yesterday afternoon. She had just gotten off the phone with h. She told me that she had called to wish him a happy birthday and he told her that he was moving to a house that we bought for an investement. She questioned him further and he actually told her about the OW!!!! If there is a positive to this it would be that if he was going to tell any one of the kids, she was the right one to tell. The two boys would have and come over to knock some sense into him. In fact this could be a very good thing. She is away at college in Boston working on her PhD in Clinical Psychology. She is one smart kid. She immediately asked non threatening questions. Here is what he told her:

1. We bought the house as an investment.

2. He told her the ow's name and said that she would probably be moving here soon.

3. That it would be for about a year.

4. In answer to her question about whether he and I were separated he responded with NO, I have no intention of separating from your mom.

5. In answer to the next question about how I feel about what he's doing he says, "she doesn't really like it but she seems okay with it".

6. He told her not to tell anyone and that he was telling her because he thought she would understand. ????? (More craziness.) She is an open thinker but not THAT open.

I asked her what he told her about the ow and she didn't really get into specifics but I know he didn't tell her a great deal. She said he made this ow sound like no big deal! I did fill her in on some of his antics over the past year. She had noticed the last time she was home (during spring break) that he had a different attitude about everything and seemed distant. She wondered what was going on with him but never brought it up to either one of us. As we talked and I told her my approach (DB approach) and she completely agreed with me on how I was handling it. I also told her many of the things that he's been saying and how he seems depressed etc. She asked a lot of questions and then said it sounds like Psychosis. She warned me to watch the finances (gee, has she been on the boards here?) because he could start going on a spending spree. Yep, he definitely could but so far he hasn't and doesn't didn't even take a checkbook when he left. They are safely tucked away inside a house that he can't get into. I pay the bills and have access to ALL of the accounts AND check them daily. I suspect she will will coming home sooner than she had planned this summer. As much as I didn't want any of the kids to know, I do feel better that I can talk to her about him and that she will do her own version of DBing with me.

It was dinner for one again tonight. That is one of the things that I already miss and even though we haven't been eating many meals together lately, I knew he was around. We use to have good conversations at dinner. Oh well, the cat and I will survive this one way or another.