Bad Timing and Making a Mess of Things

[slow_it_down]

Maybe I need this unchosen separation more than I realized if I'm really going to learn to give up expectations and also prove to myself that I'm capable of unconditional love and real acceptance for who my H is should my H decide to reach out or rekindle things later.

Earlier in the week my H mentioned he'd be dropping a birthday card in the mail for my D6 (from a previous marriage). I just returned from an empty mailbox and had he sent something as planned it would have been here days ago. I feel a little bit of a personal confidence boost in overcoming this eeensy weensie sized challenge of not getting upset that he didn't do what he said he would.

My H works a stressful job and must keep track of a million details all day long. When we were married I always told myself to cut him slack and not take it personally when he couldn't keep track of family or household things once he left work for the day (like his brain needed to just relax after work) - now's my chance to practice what I couldn't master while married without any pressure to see if its something I can do and really be satisfied with doing.

So what if there was no card - maybe he forgot, maybe he didn't send it on purpose. Either way the sun is still shining here on a lovely Friday afternoon. I got this.