"Bond did you suggest telling her she could leave ."
That was in the extreme case. I recommended that in your case, you have to start standing up for yourself. You tell her that you will not be treated and talked to like that any longer. Tell her that she's the one with the issues of not being able to deal with things in a healthy manner and that you WILL NOT be her scapegoat any longer.
"She only spew if I temp check relationship ."
You shouldn't even be talking about your relationship because you aren't in one.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Thx Bond I haven't talked R talk in 2 months. I have learned a lot from this guy who took me under his wing. Almost a blessing. I am actually going to his house early before work to start the 12 steps to recovery. I'm pretty excited to start recovering and living life
She knew about ACOA. She most likely knows about Alanon. I dropped out of ACOA because it wasn't about recovery to me. It was a pity party. So I don't know her perspective. From outside looking in it might look that I dropped out and then started again when we had problems. That isn't the reality. Unfortunately me and her don't talk Bond at all. That is her choice. I do once in awhile try to engage.
i am so glad you found the program, Al anon has been such a huge part in my journey.
I have been going for 2 years and still havent worked the steps or gotten a sponser I just go to meetings and read the literature. What I love about the program is that even though I am not doing it right, I am doing it right because I am doing it how it works for me.
I get so much out of meetings and am so blessed to have a new group of friends that are also in the program. People that I can be honest with - like you guys.
Al anon is a great way to gal. I am so happy for you.
Sounds like your Wife needs a lot of therapy and help. I will pray that she seeks the help she needs
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
I sort of lucked out or created my own luck. I went to a meeting and the wife of alanon had hubby in aa across the hall and he took me under wing. He invited me to his house to work the steps because he could tell I wanted to recover
To early in the process to answer your questions but I'm broke and need help. Depending on anyone else for happiness is not healthy. Living a life full of anger, fear, and resentment is not healthy . All I can say is I'm on the right path and just knowing this puts my mind at ease
First of all I tried to lower my expectations around this day in general. Although tough mentally I did it. Sometimes I get a script of the day in my head prior and it hurts me.
My S was sick all weekend which stunk. Sort of monkied my GAL plans with the both kids. I ended up rotating with W for family events etc..
Actual day went ok. I didn't receive a card directly from W or the words Happy fathers day. She did make me breakfast and actually asked me what I wanted with my breakfast. Her LL is acts of service so I totally could see this. She also made me some amazing things from the kids for fathers day. I didn't pursuit her. Didn't go for a hug or anything. I just thanked her and later in the night made some comments to the kids how much I loved the gifts in front of her. So there was some effort by W. More then I expected so a win.
Saturday night it appeared she was looking for anything to nit pick at me but I just ignored and read my growth books..
Alanon this week and hopefully working with sponsor on the steps. I'm excited. I see some growth in me. I see me recognizing when I say things that maybe could have been said better or not said at all. Learning to start to mind my own business in all aspects of life. Learning to try to do things for all people in my life with out expectations.
That is all for now. I'm excited to grow and become a better man.
