FY, Thank you for answering my question. I know that you are "pro-contact", so I was curious to know at what point contact initiated by me was pursuing. Bright (isn't Pink Floyd great?), I would be curious to know what the book says about this.
Snodderly asked a great question: Will I be there if/when he contacts me.
The most recent contact has actually had the effect of pushing me forward. Prior to contacting him, I had deluded myself into believing that the reason he wasn't contacting me was because I was not contacting him. And then, when he responded with what I felt was a brush off, reality finally hit me.
And so my next text was a goodbye. He responded to that one a little better asking me how I was. I replied but there has been no response.
I know that the fact he replied is considered a positive but I still feel that those replies were polite but uninterested replies. I was not expecting loving and warm at all, just not sooo uninterested. Maybe though my expectations were too high, after all I was comparing his response to one that he may have given before we imploded.
The result of that experiment is that I do not really want to initiate contact with him again. At least not for a long time. When I feel the time is right. I do not want to chase; I would like him to want to talk to me.
I seem "comfortably numb" with it all, really. He did not care to keep me. I am finally at the point where I feel there is nothing left that I can do for "us". There is no "us".
If he contacts me, in answer to Snodderly's question, whenever that may be, yes, I will be there as a friend at the very least. That is just the way I am made. It is difficult to reach out to someone, so I would not make that hard. Will I want a relationship in that time? IDK, I guess it depends where I am in all this.
Clearly, wherever he is in his journey, I am not being asked along.
There are lots of things on my TO DO list. I intend to get them done.
