Hey PM, oh you boys with your baseball jargon. LOL! Though I love sports so I get it.
What kind of boundaries are you talking about specifically?
Might help to hash it out here first.
Boundaries for things, especially physical things like massaging backs and cuddling. Those aren't things that "friends" do (even though WE did those things when we were just "friends").
If I don't set up those boundaries we are leaving ourselves open to being hurt in the future because as soon as someone else comes into the picture for either one of us, those types of things aren't "okay".
I never ask for these types of contact...I've been letting her initiate anything and everything. But I think, since we're divorced, that those types of boundaries should be set.
The flip side is, if she is reaching out and wanting those types of things, should I be discouraging/rejecting those requests?
The flip side to that flip side is what sandi2 preaches - though she hasn't commented to me specifically in a while - that the WAW needs to FEEL and experience what she is losing. The contact I am talking about could very well be cake eating on her part, and when any OM enters the picture, my cake is no longer on the menu. I don't want to be that kind of cake.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
