Questions without answers...will the hurt stop?

[albamarie]

The issues I face today are mine. I'm lonely for a companion my H can no longer be because he is sick. I've been through the let down of his character, it's who he probably always was, he's just know longer able to keep the mask on.

H said his quilt that he cannot be the H in need eats him up, he prays giving thanks for me and for Him to guide me, he's sorry, so he does lots of chores, is a workaholic and asks for nothing, (though I know he works to deflect the dep).

Is this is me feeling guilty for wanting to S. Maybe, but believe me I'll get over it real fast. That's the best idea, a S, leave him here to work and ponder his life, which he always does, and take the time for me to explore my options.

At the very least a huge distance on my part, not being so readily available, busy, actively gone when he's home leaving him to think about how he would like this change, and what he's going to do about it!

We are on some sort of other side of this MLC, I think, maybe a vet here would know better, but the fall out seems to bring it's own set of issues. Also, I'm sure he's not done, nor healed, but vulnerable to set back, and I believe (as he said just recently) I can be a very huge influence on that.

THESE LAST THREE STAGES(Depression, Withdrawal and Acceptance) is where the MLC'er learns the SAME lessons the LBS learns, and the MLC'er learns these lessons THROUGH the LBS actions TOWARD the MLC'er....as the LBS is the staunchion, or the pillar of strength..the "lighthouse" if you will...they are the source of strength that "draws" the MLC'er back.

I'm not closing the door to healing and working through my M, but he has to come forward w that, I will not ask. My kindess and preservation of my character when talking to him should be evidence enough that I am approachable.