Husband has one foot out the door!

[chasingpavements]

Thanks lovethehub and labug! You are right about the gift of time. I do have time on my side. I think he is feeling defeated right now. And I also like the journal idea. I do have some ideas written down, but I think that journalling would be a good idea. And I will keep posting on here as well.

He has mentioned that he feels that he cannot be here for me the way I need him to be. He says that I need certain things and he is just not able to offer it. For example, when we were in counselling we both read the LL book. I mentioned to him some things I felt I needed in order to feel loved (kissing, hugging, small, cheap gifts once in a while, send me a nice email, and snuggling). He says it is too hard for him to remember to do those things and it feels like a big deal to him. For him this is a big deal. He mentioned he thought we were incompatible. I imagine this is part of his reason for saying that.

How can I tell him that we can work on that and I would be satisfied with smaller things to begin with. He feels like a failure and that he cannot give me what I need. No matter what I tell him he feels that way.

When my mother passed away a few years ago, I gave him a few ideas of things he could do to make me feel better when I was feeling depressed. He did not do any of the things I told him about, which seriously hurt my feelings and made me question whether he cared about me or not.

During our bomb drop conversation in February, that was when I asked him if he even cared at me at all since he was not there for me when my mom died. I felt bad bringing it up that he did not do those things for me, as I had never told him that before. That was when it came out that he did not love me anymore, or care about me as much as he thinks he should.