JRG, Sorry to hear that. I don't think any of us know what's going on in our spouses head. I sure wish I knew. Like why hang up multiple family pictures in your new house and one of just me and our 4 year old? Lol. Blows my mind but I have to take that it's def not a bad thing she did that. My prayers are with you all multiple times a day. Stay strong.
M:33 W:32 Married:8 Together:10 S:5,4 and 8 months BD: 4/1/13 W move out day: 5/4/13 ILYBNINWY,WAS. No talk of wanting to save relationship
Hi Jax. I am in a similar situation with my H (You can look at my posts) and I've been doing this for 15 months!!
I will say that I would not want to go back to the old marriage we had, but would definitely want to make it a fulfilling marriage for both of us. I have also been able to look at myself and see that I think I lost a part of me throughout the marriage. I am now doing things that I would not have done before so this is a positive.
GotoGirl, So after 15 months your H has not filed for D? I can not imagine what you have been through in that period. I will read your post but where do the two of you stand as of now?
M:33 W:32 Married:8 Together:10 S:5,4 and 8 months BD: 4/1/13 W move out day: 5/4/13 ILYBNINWY,WAS. No talk of wanting to save relationship
He says he's doesn't want to be an a-hole by filing and is waiting for me to accept it.He hasn't really even brought it up, it has been me asking him why he hasn't made any move toward it and he just says he's waiting for me to accept it.
We were still doing things as a family on weekends and holidays. We even went out together for drinks twice and twice with friends during the last year although I still got the impression he didn't want to work on the marriage.
He says he doesn't mind doing things as a family for our children's sake but that doesn't explain doing things with me. I told him on Mother's Day that I couldn't keep on like this and so he left that day instead of having the day as a family.
I guess I really don't know where we stand and that's my confusion and dilemma.
I have asked him twice to go to counseling and he says he would have to confront things he wasn't "willing and/or ready" to confront yet. I have not asked him to go in probably at least 5 months now.
"He hasn't really even brought it up, it has been me asking him why he hasn't made any move toward it and he just says he's waiting for me to accept it."
Because he doesn't want to accept any blame or responsibility for this. It's what many WAS's do. They can't take the blame because OBVIOUSLY they aren't happy because the LBS didn't make them happy.
Sorry but no one can make you happy except for yourself. They're like children.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
