Oh, Meredith, we are on the same wavelength today--I was just about to recommend to Myrrh to list them out for herself so that she can see concrete evidence of her progress as well.
Myrrh, get your ever-working mind working! Put them out here for us to see and I think it's going to give you some incredible PMA today.
Dazed, I agree with Meredith and want to add one more thing. There is an unspoken rule here on the board... that is, Myrrh can vent about her H and what goes on between them, but we do not.
This serves a huge purpose. Yes, we should validate her and help her see the progress. But remember, she loves her SOB H and her SOB H loves her and has recently come home. This says much in the grand scheme.
But most importantly, Myrrh has enough residual anger, resentment and anxiety to deal with on her own--without having any one of us add more to her bubbling cauldron. She's working very hard at addressing her own reactions, which ultimately set off some PA behaviors in her H.
She finds value in working at her M to her H--so our purpose here is to help HER identify behaviors and words that we see here that help us guide her to the right path.
I don't want to discourage you from giving us your feedback, because undoubtedly you have some insight as well. But it doesn't help to point out the problems--we have quite a good handle on most of them.
Where we need your help is finding solutions.
And that is my two cents worth.
Hugs to all,
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
