Well, get up, brush off the dirt and climb back in the wagon. I think that's exactly what I'll do, instead of spending a week stewing over my screw-up.
Undoubtedly, you just set yourself back a few weeks to a few months but you can start over.
I am going to again ask for clarification on this, instead of getting all hypersensitive about it. Do you think this has set us back in our communication goals? Or do you think this may mean he is going to be ready to walk back out the door? But right now, you HAVE to do it because you want this story to have a happy ending. You have the tools to do it, so that makes you perfect for the job.
I didnt come at him with nearly the amount of venom that my post had in it, so I may have made it sound worse than it actually was. It seems like it was a much bigger deal to me than it was to him. And this is not just my wishful thinking. We were still sniping a bit at each other tonight when we got in the car after grocery shopping, and he all of a sudden said "I'm done!" And then said it again. I started to cry (like the weenie that I am) and he grabbed me and kissed me. Then he said "I love you; let's stop this, okay?" I said "I love you, too, and told him my anger was really fear - I was so afraid he was going to leave right away again. Then he said "you and S are my family, and you're at home. I'm not leaving. I love you."
Are you in?
Heck, yes, I'm in - I will beat this stupidity - I CAN stop crazymaking, especially with a guy who really IS meeting me halfway. I can do this - I just have to keep trying.
Can you find some meditation tapes to help you relax when you feel like losing it? I pray, but some people don't--meditation can get you to the same centered place if you learn how to do it properly.
I am a "pray-er" myself - it has goten me through lots of other bad spots. I really want to check out that book "The Power of a Praying Wife," but I haven't yet. Praying for me, him, and us seems to put me back in the loving, forgiving, and patient frame of mind I need to be in to DB properly. I don't know what happened ;ast night.
So, was that an official 2x4? Thanks if it was - I need to be told to stop whining and start doing every once in a while. (Remember : think solutions, not problems!) Thanks, Bets,
Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
