Hi CB, I am glad the vacation went okay, and they do vacillate, my W has seemed pre-/post- BD so many times I gave up counting, so just accept it as it is and deal with how she is at the moment, while keeping your over-all game plan firmly in mind.
When we snoop, we "give off" non-verablly (and also verbally) that we know something...we can't hide it, especially from our spouses who know us so well. That is why we are advised to not snoop, doesn't help the sitch, doesn't help us show our improved selves, and doesn't help US at all. Tough, I know...
Me being a natural detective/researcher and computer nerd has been a real challenge to keep my nose where it belongs...in MY business. But it has also helped keep me standing, and I feel better about myself for having not snooped (once I quit back in Dec 2011). I even built her her own computer so she would stay off the boys' computers and leave trails....(when one of her cyber-flings IM'd her (she left the IM program running), when S3 and I were working on it, with some rather X-rated stuff, that was when I decided to build her her own computer, the boys did NOT need to see this stuff).
Of course, W has a habit of leaving notes and stuff laying about on the kitchen table, the counters, mixed with day-to-day things (groceries needed, etc)and her inner thoughts/activities...ugh. So many accidental discoveries...anyway...you will feel better not snooping once you get used to it, and being true to your word is something that no one can give us but ourselves...
Hang in there! T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
