Husband has one foot out the door!

[chasingpavements]

You're doing good HWY. But, I sense you have an attitude of "waiting", and that can be dangerous. Sort of like you're holding your breath, or walking on eggshells, hoping this will make him stay. That's ok in the beginning, but what you want to work toward is becoming so whole and healthy that you feel ok whether he stays or not.

You are right on this as well! The reason I feel like I am waiting is because, for one thing, I was under the impression from him that he was going to let me know whether we will stay together or if he is leaving. However, I am usually the initiator of these types of discussions, and since I have not pressed the subject, he has not brought it up either.

The other reason I feel I am waiting is because I feel he is hurrying to finish renovating our basement in order to sell it in the fall. Right now I am a stay at home mother to our children, and will be watching them full time over the summer. In the fall, I will most likely return to my old, full time office job. I feel that most likely he is biding his time in the house until things are settled in the fall, and then will be leaving. Hence, me thinking I am waiting until the fall.

You are definitely right that I should get out of that mindset. Even if my fears are true about that, there is still time while he is living in the house, for my 180s to start working. And, you are also right, that I should be doing those 180s for my own self.

And truthfully, the GAL'ing is doing wonders for me, I feel like a new person, and wondering why I didn't do these things sooner! I feel like in the past I was holding back on trying new things, and why should I? I have even been interacting more with people out in public, and in the neighborhood, and now I am wondering why I didn't do that before?