I'm glad to see that you are working things out in your mind. It takes a while to get your footing in situations such as this.

As for the key to his vehicle, I think it's their way of ensuring that they have everything that is "theirs". I don't think it's anything more than wanting it, but to also ensure that you don't come and get it. My xh told me later on that the reason he wanted my key to his vehicle was that he was afraid I would take it from him one night while he was sleeping. Silly? To me, yes, but to him very real.

Again, it's all part of his journey and yes each thing that he does, will feel like the last nail in the coffin, but try to remember, they all do things that we can't understand, but to them they are very real and must be done.

You have two beautiful boys that are the light of your life. Try to keep your focus on them and on you for now. God is watching over your h.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.