Yesterday we had our meeting with the school. Ex w was there I was conferenced in. D was not in the meeting. The outcome, they can't help D if she does not go to school. She has missed 90 days this year. They asked exw for explanations since School has been communicating with her since 2011 which I didn't know. Her response, total silence not one explanation. They also asked exw why she didn't follow recommendations the school gave her regarding counseling, her response, silence. They have to go to court and explain her absences. They asked me why I didn't act sooner, line in 2011. That they had sent us letters. I said that I didn't learn about my D's school issues until June of 2011. That's when our sitch started. So the bottom line is that we both suck at parenting, the good thing is that exw heard it from others and not me. So now I need a plan to help D succeed in school.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Hey Bugsy. That's not going well. My D is repeating the 9th grade again, 3rd time. She missed 90 days of school and failed 100% of her classes. The school felt that she is capable of the work so they won't classify her. She was given the option of an alternative school with shorter days staring next year. We spoke and she will consider it. She is at an age where she can drop out of school without parental consent. My biggest concern is that she does not suffer from a mental illness. It runs in both our families. She is isolating more, gained lots of weight, and dresses in the same clothing every time I pick her up. Always in black. Last weekend she was wearing a sweater and wool hat even tho is was in the 90s. I would like for her to see someone but the psychiatrist who saw her in May said she was fine. So she does not see a need for another evaluation. So that's the update.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I live in the desert and I still see kids dressed like this all year round. I think it's not as prevalent as it once was but it's still one of the "uniforms."
You and I are battling similar things except my S is older, at least chronologically. Hmmm I said battling up there but I'm not really battling anymore, I'm accepting. This is where I am, this is where he is, these are my boundaries. We even have it in writing. Trying to control our kids is just like trying to control anyone else, it just doesn't work. They have to at some point face the life they're choosing.
My thoughts are with you. ((( )))
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Wow just saw my signature line and realized I been at this for over two years. Well Barb was right she said the dates will not mean much after a while. TBH being D is not so bad after all. I enjoy my time alone, I'm dating someone who thinks I'm cool and sexy. I'm having a huge BBQ for my new workers in August and no anxieties. Exw didn't like large gatherings. My Ds school calls me now first with what I want and than they run it by ex. So all in all things are good. Spending the weekend with my D.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
It's funny I found this thread because I just had the most emotionally intense dream I've had in a LONG time... maybe ever...last night. I woke up at 0400 and felt things I haven't felt in a long time. The rejection, fear, despair, grief, and depression...all from a very intense and vivid dream that I still recall most of.
I don't want to psychoanalyze myself, but maybe I'm not really as detached as I think and there are emotions buried down deep that had to find a way out.
Or maybe it was just a dream.
I went back to sleep after a little while, still sad. Woke up back to normal.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
