Hoper1's story..

[hoper]

Taking Stock...

I am managing to continue my 180's .. very particular about my dressing without being obvious.. ignore his check out looks.. he never comments on anything .. continuing my piano lessons..looking to do a course in education before teaching..

managed to continue being dim..
never call him..always end my conversations first. stopped making plans even for a movie.. he told be once he is not inclined to make any plans with me though he is ok to go along if i wished to..do not answer the door
have ignored his texting.. no R talk..

being more kinder to and thoughtful about people i interact with..

What hurts..
OW very much there..When she announces her latest business achievement on FB so tempted to tell her "Girl, pat yourself on your back and while at it give yourself a slap on your face too.."
The names and the things that i would like to call her tell me about the anger and hurt within and i do know that i have to resolve this too from my end.
He comments on every update of hers and does not bother to wish my sister on her birthday who he was once close to..

What is confusing..
Post vacation, H has moved back in the MB. He initiated LM once, I am so far confused whether i should initiate it

H initiates conversations.. remembers certain responsibilities regarding bills, car..told me to got to meet C and give her an update about the vacation..

He has stopped D talk..it is possible as he is completely clueless on his career future hence is not in a position to do so or he has realized there is no way in hell i am moving out ..for that i am grateful to the people here who urged me to drop the rope in a manner of speaking as i told if he wanted a separation he would have to move out and that i would not go to my parents..

I do feel stronger within..it yet hurts but do feel that i am able to contain it and move along..i am able to focus better on things.. i do know this is really going to take a very very long time if at all things do fall in place..preparing for the long haul..
cheers,